Finale

Forgetting to blog last night seems to be the story of my life when it comes to this class. Cursing myself Friday morning because I forgot to do my blog is what I look forward to. But since this is the final blog, then I suppose I won't try to be too hard on myself. It's softball season and I have way to much going on to remember to do blogs. It is just frustrating, so thank you Mr. Mullins for making this blog the last one of the year.

This class was a stressful experience, although not as stressful as Mrs. Turner's class last year. I have to be honest and say I think the work load was about the same as college so I appreciate you trying to make this experience like a college class. However, I didn't really enjoy the first half of first semester. I hated all of the short stories. I thought that they were boring and didn't see how they connected to preparing us for the AP Exam.

I did like the course when we began to study novels. I think I learned more from the books about themes and style and how to write essays and papers. Even when we switched into poetry, I still like the course better than the short story segment. I think I just really hate short stories. But overall, I enjoyed the class and thought that it will help me transition to college.

Spoiled.

It's safe to say that my life has changed since I purchased my Kindle Fire five months ago. Not only can I get on the internet, but I can also take as many books as I want anywhere I go. So far, I have read nine books on my Kindle and I have not been able to stop. Recently, I have purchased 4 books in the last two months. Technology is not my friend but I have to admit that it is hard to transition back to reading a regular book.

About a month ago, I picked up a book and it was physically hard to read it because I have been spoiled by my Kindle's abilities. I can't just swipe my finger to turn the page. I can't hold my finger on a word and have the definition magically appear in front of me. I love books, but binded books are just inconvenient.

I use to be against electronic books and devices because I felt like it took away from books and it was cheating the experience of reading a binded book. I was wrong and now I am constantly thinking that it would be ten times easier to read a book on my Kindle. I have officially broken up with books for a Kindle that spoils me.

Romantic Poets and Their Problems

While doing research for this massive project that Mr. Mullins has so graciously assigned us, I have noticed a pattern in the poets lives. Most of them go crazy before they reach 40. So this got me wondering, why do poets who write about life, nature, and dramatic details, can die before they even lived? It saddens me to know they didn't really get to experience what life really has to offer to them. 

John Keats, one of the most famous poets during the Romantic period, died at the age 25. That is incredibly young for someone who made such an impact on this time period. All of his works were done in a 6 year time frame while he was dying of tuberculosis. What I don't really understand is why someone of this intelligence and influence be taken away from the world in his twenties. 

Percy Bysshe Shelley is another Romantic poet who died before he reached his 30th birthday. Shelley drowned on boat while sailing back from Leghorn. He had a lot of darkness in his life, but still found it in his ability to write poetry. Being apart of the Big Six makes Shelley an influential poet during this era. It's very tragic what happened to these poets. 

It's not fair that they were taken from the world too soon; however, if they had lived, would they have been as great and popular as they are today? We will never find out the answer, but it would have been nice to see what else they would have come up with. 

The Road Not Taken

As of late, I have been reading different variations of Jane Austen's novel Pride and Prejudice. These novels take the "what if" questions and turn them into reality for the main characters. These novels made me think deeper than they were probably meant to. In my head, I began asking myself, "Do people have a single path they follow? Is it decided for them? Does it matter where they go? Will they end up in the same places no matter which road they follow?" Those questions run through my head when I read the different variations of this classic novel. No matter what path Darcy and Elizabeth choose, they both end up in the same place.  So why do we always stress about what choices we make? Do they matter in the end? I have yet to discover this answer, and to be honest, I am not brave enough to gamble with my own life decisions considering the fact that there isn't a "what if" machine that shows us the road not taken. These thoughts are strong right now anyways, since now is the time to choose where you will be for the next four years of your life. It's hard not to wonder about the "what if" questions, but if we wonder about them too much then it will be almost impossible to accept the road that was chosen. So as of tonight, I have concluded that maybe it is best to not ask "what if" but just go with the flow of the road that seemed best for you.

Books For the Soul

Books reflect the joys and woes of my life. Almost every book I read, I fall crazy in love with. I fell in love with Pride and Prejudice and now I'm going to name one of my children after Elizabeth Bennett.  I fell in love with Vampire Academy and two series (a total of nine books) later, I have picked out two more names for my future children. But I have yet to find a book that changes my life dramatically.

Sure my life changes to fit around that particular book for about a month, but after that, I go back to normal until I move on to my next obsession. I think I'm not really changed by books because I haven't found the one book that touches my soul. There are books that touch your heart, but then there are books that touch your soul and change the way you think and act. For me, that book has not come yet.

Just like soul mates, I think there is a book out in the world that is destined to change someone's life. Even if you aren't a big reader, there will still be that book that alters your lifestyle forever. Searching for it will do you no good because there may be a chance that it isn't even written yet. However, once you find that particular book, there is no going back to the way things were. f

Excuses or Books? What's the Difference?

At a young age, we are taught to read, not because it is fun, but because we have to in order to be successful. As the years progress, reading begins to focus less about the story and more about the techniques and devices that are used to make books genius. But the thing I love about books is that no matter where you are in your life, they stay the same and can always help you out of a funk when the time is right.

Books have that affect on me in different ways. I always look to my bookshelf when I'm feeling down because I know there are characters that will make me smile. When I get tired of the same old boring stuff, I read any of the Percy Jackson novels because they go beyond our little universe. If I need some romance, I pick up a Nicholas Sparks novel. Yes, I am one of those girls. And if I'm feeling very emotional, I read Pride and Prejudice because Elizabeth Bennet is a roller coaster when it comes to men.

Books can give people the best comfort they need. They take you away from where you don't want to be and transport you into a world where no one has to worry about the ending since it's already been mapped out. But, usually, books are just an excuse to hide from reality. Coping with your life can be hard, and in some ways, I think books give people the opportunity to run away from their problems rather than facing them. However, if you aren't ready to face the music, then books are the perfect hiding spot.

Definitions of Poetry

The fact that there are fifty different versions of poetry definitions makes me was laugh and pull my hair out. Poetry and I do not get along with each other. The fact that I actually caught onto something in class that had to do with poetry surprised the pants off of me. I honestly don't understand poetry, especially Shakespeare and older forms of poetry, but some of these definitions hit my thought of poetry exactly right. 

"Poetry is basically anything that calls itself a poem." I will not lie and say this is probably one of my favorite definitions on the list because this is how I feel 90% of the time when I have to read poetry. Modernist totally threw all the rules out the window and made everyone a poet. I can write something horrible about candles and call it a poem. Poems are just not poems anymore which makes a student's life more difficult.

"Poetry is an orphan of silence. The words never quite equal the experience behind them." I agree with this definition because poetry is used mainly describe and event or what someone felt during a particular event in their life. But because the readers never get to experience the same things as the writers, it never has that great of an experience on the readers as it did the writer. It tries desperately but never succeeds. 

Those definitions are just a couple I liked on that list, but there were a lot more that I saw fit with my interpretation of the definition of poetry. Maybe one day I can actually relate to the definitions that define poetry as "beautiful."

Bullying

Bullying is one subject that everyone tries to fight, but in the end, they end up enabling it. I really hate talking about bullying because it is such a delicate topic. There is the serious bullying and then there is the pettiness that we call "drama." The difference is sometimes hard to tell, but then again it also depends on the person who is receiving the bad names and humorless jokes. 

Bullying is a subject that students and even adult workers hide behind because it is easier to blame it on the other person rather than settle the situation. I think the word "bully" is misused everyday because it is overused in today's school systems. Anytime there is a problem at school, students and parents first response is usually bullying when sometimes its just a unresolved conflict that no one wants to deal with.

Our society today hides behind bullying and the prevention of bullying. I think that it is made too aware to the students and society. If it was taken care of behind the scenes and if students would take the action and talk to an adult about their situation then I doubt the problem would escalate into something as tragic as suicide. 

Balancing bullying and drama is hard to balance in school. But our society needs to stop hiding behind the excuse of "my child was being bullied" and actually own up to the real situation. 

Dear Family

Dear Family,

Family, you have pissed me off about 42 times this passed two weeks. But what is a real family without its lies, secrets, and fake caring? Nobody will ever know. Especially not me, because my family is just full of crap. There is not a chamber pot big enough to hold how much crap that goes on in my family.

What is family? Is it the people who lie to you or is the people you spend most of time with? The people that will have your back no matter what? The people you hit balls all afternoon with. While I have been losing my regular family, I have also obtain 16 new sisters in the past two weeks. Softball. Got to love a sport that requires a hour and a half cry session. It's just intense.

Family, I am very tempted to give up on you. But I know I can't.. or else my mother will kill me. I am just a teenager who doesn't want to deal with the problems that you cause. My very out of control girl emotions that control everything that comes out of my mouth. Emotions that make me smile, yet make me cry in the same hour.

Family, You are CRAZY. I love you, but seriously, can you take it down a level because my mind will explode. And not in a good way.

-Katherine

Love Sucks.

Sethe's love of Beloved is very disturbing. Now finishing the book, I realize that I may have a similar love like that. Someone I love and would go to the end of the world for, but they don't love me enough to tell me the truth or even acknowledge me for about 2 weeks.

Me being who I am, I'm not exactly sure how I can control this love that I feel for these people. Yes, there is more than one.. but I dont think there is any absolute way to control the way I feel. It all comes down to if you are meant to love this person. Fate has chosen you to get the short end of the straw, and it may be impossible to change.

I have actually tried to not love them. I have tried to ignore them, but they won't let that happen. Both of these people are unstable. One is suicidal and the other is an addict that lies to my face. I have been dealing with both of these people for most of my life. I think its more about how these people control their urges rather than me loving them. It shouldn't me who has to fight the control, but yet it is. In reality, you can't control the way you feel. You can't stop from loving the people you are meant to love even if they are unstable and dangerous.

I admit it. I'm Guilty.

I have to say I loved that article about the guilt trips people take because, honestly, I never realized how much I feel guilty for until I sat down and really thought about it. Most of the time, teenagers feel empowering and good about themselves when they disobey their parents or doing something they weren't suppose to do. But how often does it come back to haunt them? I think that depends on the kind of person you are.

Truth: I am a goody-two-shoes. My parent know everything I do.. Well, my mom does.  

I usually don't do anything bad that she doesn't know about or has not given me permission to do. But does that easy my guilty feelings? Most of the time. Other times I become so paranoid that someone else is going to think I'm a horrible person of what I have done. Even if it is just stealing a piece of candy from the giant candy display a Krogers. 

I feel bad when I eat the last of the Oreos when I know my mom will be wanting some later. I feel guilty for reading my book after midnight. I feel guilty for Facebook stalking my friends. All of these guilt trips make me lame. But I own it. I ride the guilt train, but it isn't for breaking curfew or smoking cigarettes. My guilt trains takes me on a journey at a speed of about 0.25mph and I am A-OKAY with that. 

This was just waiting to get out.

Well, I finally finished my essay for The Road and I'm not exactly sure how I feel about that.  It took forever and right now I'm running on 4 to 5 hours of sleep.  This day is going to be fun.. Not really. Now I get to do it all over again with a totally different book. Let's hope this book is good because it is going to take a lot to keep me away from The Indigo Spell when it comes out in about 6 days!!!  Anyways, I don't really have much to say in the blog, partly because I haven't had a chance to read the assigned section for Beloved. Let's talk about ALL-STATE.

Holy crap I leave in less than an hour to go to ALL-STATE. Woo!  I'm really excited but really nervous too since I haven't had much time to study my music.  Between homework for all of my AP classes, work and softball, I don't know how I'm going to get through this semester.  I feel as if I'm already behind in a lot of my classes.  It's just so hard to balance everything but I guess I have to get use to it when I go to college.

Sorry this blog be basically 95% ranting but I needed to get all of this worrying, excitement, and stress out of my head and out into the open.  People always look at high school students and say, "Oh, it must be hard having teachers hand you things all the time." Well guess what. IT IS. And besides teachers don't even do that so stop saying it!

Okay, I'm done.  Next week, I promise it will be complex and discuss literature or something that goes on in English but for right now.. Here you go.

Red is a Good Color.

What to say about this week? Well, there was A LOT of homework in all of my classes but the fact is I don't think I have enjoyed my other homework like I have my English. (And I didn't just say that to get on Mr. Mullins's good side.)  But all week I have been reading my independent reading book and oh my gosh it is so good.  I never would have expected this book to be this fabulous.

Bernard Cornwell is definitely not my go-to author.  Let's be honest, he writes historical fiction but since I'm doing a project on revolutions I figured that it would be appropriate.  Redcoat is probably one of the most busy books I have read in a long time.  Recently my mind has been on a young adult novel that releases in 12 days (not that I'm counting), so finding the motivation to read this book was actually quite difficult.  But once I got going, it was hard to put it down.

I am actually almost done with my book (which is actually a good thing since I get to write an essay on it tomorrow) so I'm really sad to see it in.  Throughout the entire book has been constant up and down climax hills that are just driving me crazy and then there is also the fact that there is a love triangle in the book as well as the fight for liberty against the London Lobsters.  But other than that I have to say that this book was really enjoyable and although the information that I was looking for was not necessarily up front and in my face, it was still very useful for my project.

Thank God for Redcoats because if we didn't have them then we would live in a world surrounded by overbearing and obsessed teenage girls who can't focus on anything other than petty romance novels.

Satisfied? I'm not exactly sure I am.

Finishing The Road gave me mixed feelings.  I'm not exactly sure how I feel about the man dying instead of the boy and then the veteran coming and saving him from the cruel world that he was left to live in.  The whole ending seems very odd to me.  It didn't go along with anything the book was previous to the man's death.  The writing stayed the same but the whole idea of someone saving the boy was basically a whole different idea.

Throughout the entire book, we see men and women who have faced a hard and tragic life.  Almost all of them have ended in death or unknown results.  As readers, we can assume that they didn't survive.  The people in the basement, being held prisoner, waiting to be eaten by others. We can assume they died.  Ely, the first encounter the man and the boy have on the road, we can assume that he died when considering his age and lack of food he had.  We can assume the thief died because he didn't have any clothing or food when the boy and the man last saw him.  So why is the boy's fate different.

If the world was truely in ruin and despair then the boy would have never been found and would have died along with his father.  It seems surreal that people with two other children found him and willingly took him in.  Did they have any food to share or did they just want to eat the boy.  Did karma play a role in the boy's survival?  Maybe all the good the boy showed for others changed the balance in the world and the world let him live.  Unfortunately, we will never know because the book ended with an annoying cliff hanger.  So, to say I am unsatisfied is an understatement.

What Happens Now?

THEY MADE IT. The boy and the man finally reached the coast.. but what happens now?  I have been wondering that this entire time while reading The Road. What happens when they get to the coast because if there aren't any fish in the bodies of freshwater then what makes the man think that there is anything in the ocean?

Obviously the ocean represents more than just a big and wide body of water.  However, the question is what?  Is it related to the man's past? Does it represent their survival on the deserted Earth?  Why is the ocean so special to the man?  All of these questions and I have no idea what the answer is to any of them.  

My personal theory behind the ocean is that the man has some connection between the ocean and his haunting past.  Why else would he obsess over the ocean and going south?  Yes, it is warmer but not by much.  The boy freezes his behind off when he swims in the ocean.  The man also says the water is colder than he thought it would be when he swam over to the boat. This leads me to believe that there is something else behind the oceans significance.  

Or maybe the ocean represents his lost wife.  The ocean never leaves him.  The ocean is forced to stay through this entire tragedy that fell upon the earth.  It may be possible that the man wanted to find the ocean not only to stay warm in the cooler months but to remember his wife.  Have something physically there that won't die or leave him.  

These are just my theories but whether they are right or wrong, we may never know. 

The Path toward The Road.

The Road is a very simple name for such a complex book.  This book is so complex and disturbing that it should have a disclaimer on the back reading: "Beware of vivid descriptions of dead bodies and violent events because after reading this, you will never think the same about an apocalypse."  This book has tons of imagery and rhetorical devices and it's amazing how much there is packed into this book.

The disturbing parts of the book is what draws me to constantly pick it up and continue reading past the points that were assigned. It's the human instinct to be drawn to these types of books because it reveals our lives to be better than the characters.  The fact that the author thought to put these characters in a situation such as the one in the book worries me. It makes me wonder what goes through this man's head everyday to come up with the sick and disgusting ways of hunting, eating, and locking up humans like they are animals.  It's almost as if he took the switched the roles of the animals and humans.  In today's society, we keep animals locked up for food but in The Road, it's the humans that are being held as animals.  It almost strikes me as a sick form of satire. The author is making fun or depicting the way we treat these animals in modern society just to survive and have a full stomach.  To put a young boy in this dangerous situation is pushing the limits but its makes this book so captivating.

I'm almost afraid to end it but when I do, I doubt I will be satisfied.